INFO:

I wanted to post this raw and for the most part uncut for a couple of reasons, but all to support the overall message that “gentle” parenting doesn’t always look the same. Number 1, to show the reality of not always being the perfect parent, not always having the “right words”, but simply always doing your best to keep the kids in the loop and work with them rather than against them. I’m sure I could have used better words here to better convey my message, but I didn’t have the words. That’s reality, sometimes when you’re emotional and overstimulated (no matter how much training you’ve had or how many books you’ve read) sometimes you fall back on trusting yourself to just find the best words you can and keep the main thing the main thing (not hitting, not screaming, not completely losing your cool) and correct what needs to be corrected later. I’ve found peace in knowing that even in these moments, there’s a valuable lesson happening for all of us. Second, I wanted to show what balance can look like at times when you and your partner have different parenting styles, which is a question we get asked a lot. My husband is a Marine Corps veteran, we are two different people with different upbringings and different views. I can’t expect him to parent exactly like me and in full honesty, I don’t want him to. We have different views of “intentional parenting” and how we honor each other in that is respecting our common values, what we call our “non-negotiables”. The basis of that is, we don’t hit or physically, mentally, or emotionally hurt our children and do everything in our power to make sure that when we are addressing them we are doing so in a controlled and intentional state of mind. One of my favorite things about this video, something I feel blessed to experience, raising our sons in a two-parent household, is how he shows up for me when he hears me in distress. He doesn’t undermine me or shut me down, he simply moves in with reinforcement. As someone who grew up in a single-parent household, I treasure these little moments where I’m able to feel safe even in frustration.